Sunday, July 31, 2005

Killing Yourself To Live

The new book by Chuck Klosterman, senior writer for Spin.

excerpt:

"so here is my question: Have you ever had a dream that seemed to last for 5 years, even though you were only asleep for 5 hours? Or a dream that seemed to last for 100 years? Or ever have a dream that you were married to someone for your entire life?

Now - obviously - dreams don't last for 100 years. Dreams last for like 20 minutes. So this means that somehow we are able to understand an accelerated passage of time when we dream. We can just naturally tell- somehow- whether the dream was happening in 'real time' or 'dream time.' And if it's happening in 'dream time', what we experience in 20 minutes can feel like a span of 20 years.

But that's not my question. My question is this: Are we only able to understand this because of books movies and television? Because the difference between real time and dream time seems like something that would be impossible to understand organically.

What I'm wondering is if TV taught people how to have longer dreams."



The book is amazing and so far has taken precedent over showering and seeing CC Deville's band. I hope I make it to work tomorrow.

-Reek

Special Surprise Guest

I wasn't planning on going out. I really wasn't.
I get a call from D to go to a club and figure why not. He tells me that our friends are meeting us at this club with a special surprise guest.

I get there and see the people that we are supposed to meet. One of them starts telling me how difficult it was to get there because the surprise guest (I still didn't know who it was) was freaking out about his hair and make up. My friend went off about what an insane spaz the mystery guest is. Then I get introduced to him; fuckin CC Deville.
That dude is the most animated motherfucker I have ever met! Anna met him before and told me a bit about his inanity, but I know now that it is impossible to do it justice. That guy is a tazmanian devil of comedic energy, a true character. I haven't laughed that hard for that long in a while.
So we talked a bit about him doing some stuff for Orgasm.com. He was really into it. It's extremely weird because today at dinner we were talking about getting some "celebs" involved with our project. My 1st choice is David Lee Roth, but after tonight CC is definitely a close #2.
He invited us to check out his band (not Poison, his other band) tomorrow night at the Roxy. Should be Nutty!

-R

Worst pick-up line of the night award goes to Damian;
"You are adorable, but man, someone NEEDS to take you shopping!"
He would have gotten slapped, but she was so overwhelmed by his rudeness she couldn't do anything except walk away stunned.

Friday, July 29, 2005

In Case You Forgot...

...or didn't know;

Jim Martin, the ex-guitarist from Faith No More is now a giant pumpkin farmer.

John Arch, the ex-singer from Fates Warning is now a cabinet maker.

Mark Free, the ex-singer from King Kobra is now... uhh... Marcy Free.


-\\m//

Best Drug Dealer Scene Ever


hwy
Originally uploaded by Caulrophobic.
Maybe not the best drug dealer scene ever, but right now I can't think of a better one.


The Movie is called Highway. It stars Jered Leto, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Selma Blair. The movie itself is ok, but the drug dealer scene almost made me piss my pants.

Even if you don't watch the whole thing, which u prolly should (there is an alligator boy in it after all), check out Jeremy Piven as the drug dealer.


I dare you to see this and come up with a better drug dealer scene.

See ya
-Rick

PS I hate when people say "late" when they really mean "goodbye." That sad little word-fad never caught on. Pls try harder.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Cop-out Post

I'm exhausted, so all you get is a joke. This joke is better when it's told out loud. This joke gets funnier every time I hear it. It gets funnier when u are drunk. It gets funnier when u tell it to drunk people that have already heard it, and you purposefully fuck up the punch-line. Here it is:

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?



Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson fucks little boys.



Thank you ladies and gentlemen! Goodnight!
-'Chard

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

2:00 am Outside of the Strip Club

The lights come on at Cheetah's about 5 minutes before we would have been kicked out. Outside of the club is 15 Mexican men with moustaches, my sloppy drunk friends, and this blond chick that looks vaguely familiar. D talks her up, gets her name, and she says she is from Chicago. It turns out that I fucking know her. How random!
It's Evie Evil from Evil Beaver (great band name).
She is an extremely talented singer/songwriter/bass player in a 2 person stoner-punk band.

Check out her band and website:
  • Evil Beaver


  • That's all I got.
    Bi for now
    -R

    Tuesday, July 26, 2005

    Orgasm Studio Test Shoot


    O Studio
    Originally uploaded by Caulrophobic.
    Today was our 1st test shoot. We set up all of our insane high-definition green screen gear. Porn starlet Danni Woodward was nice enough to be our guinea pig.
    We did all sorts of fun experiments. Including;

    Wrapping a stick in green screen tape and tying things to it, so in post-production it will look like inanimate objects are floating.

    We taped Danni's arm in green tape so it will look like a stump.

    We covered different objects in green and had her stand on them, so it will look like she's floating.

    We had her stand on mirrors to see how that will look.


    Post-production will be fun. We are going to experiment with all sorts of cool and ridiculous backgrounds. I'll send some to all y'all if u want.

    Later
    -Cock Hudson

    PS Happy Belated Birthday Matt.

    Monday, July 25, 2005

    Check Out The Big Brain On Brad

    PNEUMONOULTRAMICROSCOPICSILICOVOLCANOCONIOSIS - Lung disease

    HEPATICOCHOLANG IOCHOLECYSTENTEROSTOMIES - Gall Bladder surgical procedure

    FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION - Estimation of something as worthless



    BENGAY has been around since 1898 and it is marketed by Pfizer. The inventor was Dr. Benjamin Gay. The word "gay" as not in use until after World War II and became popular phrasing in the fifties. By then the brand name BEN GAY was a household name and it would have been too costly to change the name of a product that is sold worldwide.

    "Check out the big brain on Brett" - Sam Jackson's quote from Pulp Fiction. The character in the movie was actually named "Brad" not "Brett." QT left it in the movie anyway.


    Glad this is all cleared up!
    -RL

    Blog Neglect

    Blog neglect was rampant this weekend! Here's the highlights:

    Saw Wonka.
    It was great! I thought that I would hate it, but it was so much better then I ever imagined it would be. I really don't like Tim Burton's stories (or his movies), but his visuals are always amazing. So this was perfect! He took all the boring parts from the last movie and changed other things to reflect Roald Dahl's story better. My only beef (like everyone else's), was the Oompa Loompa's and their singing. You can't fuck with the original midgets and their songs.

    Jay had a shindig at Orgasm Studios this weekend. It was a good time, really chilled out, lots of interesting weird people. Met one of the bad guy monsters from Lord of The Rings. He was a huge black musclebound dude with a handlebar moustache and a New Zealand accent. Spent a few drunken moments with him and his girlfriend talking about the importance of funny looking facial hair.

    Oh yeah, Season 2 of Dead Like Me is out. That's the real reason that I've been neglecting the blog.

    That's all for now
    -R

    Thursday, July 21, 2005

    Devoted Sister, Beloved Cunt.

    Yeah, I like TV. I'll stick up for it when others put it down. Now more then ever you can find interesting, informative, creative, and well-written shows if you care enough to look.

    One of my new favs is the show "The Secret Life Of" on the Food Network. This show is a 1/2 documentary on a specific food. The host tells about the history, the science, the mechanics, and the "fame" of, say... Ice cream, or cereal, or bagels, or whatever. I'm not doing justice to how fun and fascinating it is. It's kinda like those Mister Rogers snippets (remember those?), except the host doesn't seem like a child molester.

    Then I turn on the TV, see this, and lose all faith:

    VH1 All Access: Awesomely Wacky Celebrity Baby Names.
    I watched about 3 minutes of it. It impressed me that it was so much worse then the name would imply. Here's why; the show in essence, was lame comedians who were making fun of random celebs for plaguing their kids with really dumb names. Right. Fine.

    Here's what made it worse; they were also making fun of celebs for naming their kids semi-common but not too dumb names. Every name that they talked about, they acted like it was so outrageous. Like, "Wow, so-and-so named their kid Kaylee! Poor kid! What kind of drugs were they on?" Ya know, they acted like every celeb named their baby, "Cunt."
    Courtney Cox's daughter: Cunt Cox-Arquette
    Kevin Bacon's daughter: Cunt Bacon
    Cunt Schwarzenegger (with an umlaut over the u)
    Kunt Cruise
    Cunty Jessica-Parker-Broadrick
    Cunt Malkovitch


    Fuck you TV.
    -Cunt LeVine


    BTW, the answer is Ramstein, Du Hast.

    Hints

    You'll prolly have to convert it twice, It wasn't originally written in English.

    Wednesday, July 20, 2005

    I'm Tired of That Talking I'm Sick of That Noise

    Here's a little game
    Try to see if you can figure out what song this is. Yes it is a song that you know, yes you should use babelfish, no the header of this post is not a clue or hint (I just threw it on here to throw you off).


    Tu tu m'as tu m'as tu m'as demandé tu as demandé, et moi ne dire rien Tu veus le décès à vous sépares lui être fidèle pour tous les jours Non Tu veus jusqu'au décès qui la sépare aime aussi dans de mauvais jours Non


    Nighty night (no it is not a Night Ranger song)
    -Tricky Dick (no it's not a Tricky song)

    Tuesday, July 19, 2005

    I *Heart* Drugs And They *Heart* Me


    X
    Originally uploaded by Caulrophobic.
    This whole thing was a weird realization that I came to as I was watching Zach Braff tripping at that party in Garden State.

    When people on TV or in movies smoke pot, it never makes me want to smoke. When people on TV or in movies do coke, I never jones for coke.

    God damn when people do Ecstasy in movies it makes my heart beat a little faster and gives me that warm tingly feeling. It's almost like a wishful empathy or something. I guess I don't really wish I was doing ecstasy, I just wish I could turn that feeling on and off sometimes.
    It's prolly good that X lasts for so inconveniently long and the after-effects are so severe and exhausting. It keeps me and people like me from being X junkies.

    I Feel like I should end this post with the serenity prayer or some shit.

    -RL

    Oh yeah;
    God grant me the Serenity To Accept the things I cannot change the Courage to change the things I can And Wisdom to know the difference. Or something.

    Sunday, July 17, 2005

    Worlds Best Bartender

    There is an annual televised competition called Worlds Best Bartender (or WBB). I watched it today.

    Remember that Tom Cruse movie Cocktail? Remember him and that Australian dude flipping bottles behind their backs and catching them? It's called "Flare Bartending." If memory serves they did a bottle flipping routine to that Hippy Hippy Shake song (don't know why I let that factoid occupy my valuable brain space).

    Anyway...
    The WBB participants were the best jugglers that I've ever seen. They each had 3 mins to make 3 drinks and do their routine. I saw these fuckers juggle 4 bottles at time. Saw them contact juggle those metal drink shakers while balancing bottles on their heads. Saw them light the bottles on fire and use their centrifugal force to make them spin around arms and necks. They were using the metal shakers to catch the bottles in from behind their backs (wow it's difficult to describe juggling techniques). Those motherfuckers were defying physics. It was like Blue Man Group with booze.
    If you ever have the opportunity to see it, see it.

    Vaginally yours,
    -Mr. Rick

    PS Lloyd says Hi

    Drunk Post

    The Boozes didn't want me to post tonight, but when do I ever listen to the boozes?
    Went to some club. All these actor/model/filmmaker guys kept chatting Damian and I up. We kept telling them that we did gay porn and we acted all offended when they didn't recognize us. "C'mon, you never saw Twink Gang Bang #27, that was our best work. So much better the #26! It's all in the script."
    Most of the club was outside. We got a table very close to the door. It was so much fun to watch the wasted people getting thrown out and falling down the stairs on the way out. I could watch that shit all night, and I did.
    Then we met this guy that owns some other club in Hollywood, and we convinced him to have an afterhours. It turned out to be like 10 of us in this massive dance club. The owner guy said, "I'm going home with this girl that I picked up, but stay as long as you like. The bartenders will take care of you." We did, and they did.
    Now I'm home, drunk, and the forecast calls for that 30% chance of vomit. God damn I'm a lightweight.


    Lloyd is coming here tomorrow. He is tour manager of some goth band called Kombi Christ or Combi Khrist or some other variation of that, I'm not sure. I'm supposed to meet him at a vampire bar tomorrow where they are playing. We'll see what kinda shape I'm in tomorrow.

    It's 4:00. I'm tired. Goodnight.
    -Wonderboy

    Friday, July 15, 2005

    Her Space Holiday


    bliss
    Originally uploaded by Caulrophobic.
    So I managed to get out of yet another social obligation this evening. When does one officially become a hermit?


    Her Space Holiday.
    How did that band escape me? I actually downloaded it because I liked the name (plus I've heard of them along side Bright Eyes, they did a split ep together).
    Anyway...
    I've listened to them all day today and all night so far. The only thing on my mind was why all music didn't sound as good as this does. The album is called The Young Machines.

    Here is the sound formula:
    Self+Soul Coughing doing Bright Eyes songs.
    Whatever, god damn it's brilliant!

    It's upbeat and clever and weird and catchy. I highly recommend it to any and all. Fuck. I'll even make you a copy if you ask real nice.

    I'm going to go to Itunes right now and download the rest of the albums.

    -Are I see que'

    Thursday, July 14, 2005

    Nothing To See Here

    I'm taking the night off to be angry.
    No good byes, no hyphens, no nothing

    Wednesday, July 13, 2005

    Doh Nation


    oink
    Originally uploaded by Caulrophobic.
    So I get this call today. The call somehow bypasses the main # and goes directly to my extension unfiltered. It was the Los Angeles police department. Officer Dickhead proceeds to pitch me their charity fund in the form of veiled threats and intimidation.

    He had a really weird and well thought out shtick. He offered me only 3 donation options $1000, $500, and $100. For each option I get a certain amount of "I donated to the police charity" bumper stickers. He said that some Officers could come by the office on Friday morning and pick up the cash. The real magic was in the subtext.

    The subtext went like this:
    1. If you donate, then the bumper sticker that you get will get you out of tickets.
    2. They know who and where I am. If I don't donate I will either be a target or I will get sub-par "service and protection" from the men in blue.

    WHAT FUCKING BULLSHIT!

    Hells no I didn't let them intimidate me. I'm not giving them shit!
    Fuck the police.


    Love,
    Rick

    Tuesday, July 12, 2005

    I "Heart" You Britney Spears - An Introspection

    I didn't really have much to say in this post. I was going to make an attempt at some caustic wit by posting something from the Britney Spears website. Maybe some ditsy fan letter response, or a vapid message board post. I wanted to use her as a tool to mask my lack of creativity and originality. I went to her website (which is a nice flash design) and started looking around. I read her bio and her posts. I looked through her store at her 10 different kinds of dolls. I looked at her charity organization. She has her own charity organization! Yeah, her site is pretty impressive. She is actually pretty impressive.

    She, basically, is a seemingly ok person that made some really good decisions that led her into being an extremely succcessful pop star. I, personally, don't really find her all that attractive. Her voice doesn't give me chills the way other female singers do. But the truth is that a fuck of a lot of people really like her music and a shitload of men think she is the hottest woman alive. Evan I can respect the cool and flashy production of her music and her videos.

    It's weird, I'm feling a bit guilty, and rightfully so.
    I know that nothing that I'm saying is new or deep. It's really quite basic and obvious; different strokes, and all that shit.

    The bottom line is that I often forget that I am a music snob. I say that I am a "music geek," which is true, but I am also a big music snob. I sometimes feel that I'm on a higher plane then most because I think that I have better taste in music than them. Pathetic.



    In the end, Britney's debut cd way outsold the Posies', Jellyfish's, and Sunny Day Real Estate's catalogs put together, and there will never be a special prize for music geekary, If there was, I probably wouldn't win it (that hipster fuck at Rotate This probably would).


    -R

    Yeah, and if I really liked music I wouldn't have forgotten about the SOJH show that happened this evening.

    Monday, July 11, 2005

    Doodie Hole

    When the computer and the television become completely integrated, will blogs be like reality shows?

    It takes 3 days for bananas to completely ripen on the banana-hanger.

    I've been eating the same thing for breakfast every weekday for the last 3 months.

    At 2:00 am almost all US television stations play infomercials.

    It is impossible to stream dvd quality video.

    Its been 13 days since I've kissed somone.

    The original lyric was "Pass the Kutchie" (meaning pipe), but they changed it to "Dutchie" to get airplay.

    Lloyd will be here this week.

    Jani Lane is on a celebrity weight loss show.



    Bye
    -Richard Alan

    Sunday, July 10, 2005

    One Band, One Dream, One Summer.


    satisfaction
    Originally uploaded by Caulrophobic.
    Had the pleasure of watching Satisfaction again today. We all know that it was bad, but just like my huge gay DVD collection, I had to watch it again to make sure that I didn't like it.

    Aside from underrated hottie Justine Bateman, It starred A-list celebs; Julia (punch her in her stupid mushy face) Roberts, and Liam (Cousin Liam) Neeson. Now the plot and the acting were just like I remembered; weak and/or non-existent. What I didn't remember was that Justine actually sang almost every song on the soundtrack. Unreal.

    I find it amazing that she never pursued a singing career. Now don't get me wrong, she can't sing for shit, but that's not the point. The point is that she could have gone the Lindsay Lohan route and used her TV fame to "cross over" to music superstardom. She could have become a huge plastic pop star product. Did she do that? Did she? Umm, no. No she didn't. She was content to record the soundtrack, make the movie, launch the careers of her supporting cast, and then happily escape into obscurity. That's some before-her-time indy rock, too cool for school shit. You just have to respect the fuck out of that!

    -Rick Rockstar
    (that's Damian's name change recommendation for me)

    Gotta love the acapella version of Iko Iko

    Saturday, July 09, 2005

    Burgundy Pants

    Watched Anchorman; Legend of Ron Burgundy with Will Farrell (I didn't watch it with Will Farrell, he just starred in it). Funny movie. God damn did they talk about pants a lot! Like Matt and I in '95, every 2 seconds with a pants joke. We always knew how funny pants could be, now the rest of the world is catching up. If you took a drink every time someone said "pants," you would be drunk by the time Ben Stiller's Mexican moustache graced the screen. Yeah lots of good moustache in that movie as well. That's a movie that needs to be bought.

    See ya
    -R

    Friday, July 08, 2005

    Fuckin Design Psycho

    I'm looking for another genius designer. I put an ad out in a few jobby job places. This was my favorite response so far. It's actually my favorite ad response of all time. Dig it:



    Dudes Seriously,
    I'm contacting you through the Craig's List Job thingy. I know this is annoying but you asked for it, so blame yourself, not me. Not a good way to start this "Got any work for a total stranger" email, but at least I didn't ask for your credit card number. Yet. Now, to the more adult-like part of this email. I have advertising/design degrees from both the Univ. of Oklahoma and Art Center. Two bachelors, don't ask. I have both freelanced and worked full time in both small and large design and ad agencies for the past 20 years. I have worked for clients such as Bank of America, Tomy toys, AM/PM, Krause's Sofas, Relax the Back, Buena Vista Television, Sparrow Records, Montgomery Watson Hartza International Engineering and Love's Barbecue restaurants. I have worked for agencies like Young & Rubicam, Grey, Kaiser McEuen and Pasadena Advertising. My work has appeared in several design annuals. La-te-da for me, I know. For example, one Tuesday, I finished writing and illustrating a line of Christmas cards I'm proud of for Target and today I met with a fork lift company about doing a yellow pages ad. Riding high in April, shot down in May, to quote the chairman of the board, Jessica Simpson. Pardon me, I digress But wait, there's more. I'm a comedy writer, but don't ask my wife's opinion about that. I have written for Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien. I have been a finalist three of the past four years for the Sundance Institute Screen Writer's Lab. I also perform standup and sketch comedy. I've been a member of the Groundlings Sunday Company. The standup room I've run for 10 years has been the "Comedy Pick of the Week" in the LA Weekly 4 times in the last two years. They have called it "The Best Open Mic in LA". Enough about me. What can I do for you, which is still about me, but now there's money involved, which I know nothing about, so blah blah blah convolute your friendly resume letter even more, Idiot Boy Vance. Sorry, you had to hear that. How about those Lakers? I would love to meet with you guys and show you my portfolio or I can email more examples of work that are too big to open. I have plenty more samples, just let me know where to send them. Craig's List has a 150k limit on attachments, so that's why I'm only sending you one example. I hope to hear from you soon. Thanks for your time. Never run with scissors.

    You Rock like an Dexy's Midnight Runners Cover Band,
    Vance S*******

    PS. Forget all the money "Sith" has made, why can't George Lucas do some CGI on his neck pouch. He's got an entire fanny pack under his chin. Is there another editing facility in there. Use the "Force" on that. It's like a chin mullet.



    His design sucks, and he bugs me via email almost every day. He even signed his last email as, "I ain't no holla back girl."
    I hate looking for new designers.
    -Rik

    Thursday, July 07, 2005

    Violent Meditation

    So limber. So graceful. So boneless.
    Relaxing... Zen....

    She curves her body mellifluously around clusters of bubbles, falling and diving and falling.
    She folds and contorts on impact but then conforms effortlessly and slithers around every orb.
    *sigh*

    Doing this for a half hour a day would probably add 10 years to my life.

    check it out, here is the link (sorry u have to cut and paste it):
    http://www.chilloutzone.de/files/05062202.html

    Enjoy!
    -Fudgeboy



    PS Do any of you smarter computer people know how come I can't get this hotlink to work? I'm HTMiliterate.
  • The Dive
  • Wednesday, July 06, 2005

    Sinners


    sinners
    Originally uploaded by Caulrophobic.
    It sickens me that these bastards took my fetish and bible-fucked it. I love the photo though!

    Clowing4christ.com
    Their website sucks, but here is the only amusing excerpt:


    Who we are:

    We are a Christ Centered, Bible believing Ministry and our goal is to spread the Gospel through our unique clown performance in the foreign mission field as well as in local churches here in the United States. In addition to our performance ability we also teach a professional level of clowning to all Christian clowns as well as secular clowns.

    I'd fuck their shit up!
    -Rick

    Tuesday, July 05, 2005

    Hall And Goddamn Oats


    haulnoats
    Originally uploaded by Caulrophobic.
    Just... here:



    Hall And Oats - Your Body Is A Wonderland

    We've got the afternoon
    You got this room for two
    One thing I've left to do
    Discover me
    Discovering you

    One bow to every inch an'
    Your skin like porcelain
    One pair of candy lips and
    Your bubblegum tongue

    'Cause if you want love
    We'll make it
    Swim in a deep sea
    Of blankets
    Take all your big plans
    And break 'em
    This is bound to be a while

    Your body is a wonderland
    Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
    Your body is a wonderland

    There's something 'bout the way the hair falls in your face
    I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase
    You tell me where to go and
    Though I might leave to find it
    I'll never let your head hit the bed
    Without my hand behind it

    You want love?
    We'll make it
    Swim in a deep sea
    Of blankets
    Take all your big plans
    And break 'em
    This is bound to be a while

    Your body is a wonderland
    Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
    Your body is a wonderland

    Damn baby
    You frustrate me
    I know you're mine, all mine, all mine
    But you look so good it hurts sometimes

    Your body is a wonderland
    Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
    Your body is a wonderland
    Your body is a wonderland



    YOUR BODY IS A FUCKING WONDERLAND! Just... I... uhh... mm... nevermind.
    -R

    Monday, July 04, 2005

    Chef Dick

    I rarely cook. I get most of my food delivered to me. It may be surprising for you know that I watch a lot of Iron Chef. Ironically, I often eat delivery food while watching Iron Chef. I like both the Asian dubbed version as well as the American version.
    For those of you that don't know, Iron Chef is a cooking competition between a champion (The Iron Chef) and a challenger. Both competitors have to cook with a featured main ingredient that they must incorporate into every dish. They present the dishes to judges who taste and rate each dish. The one with the highest score wins.

    Here's my Idea to make it even more fun:

    What if the featured ingredient was something that you wouldn't ordinarily cook with, something gross. The chefs would have to make dishes that incorporate the main ingredient and make it edible. That would really show the cooking skills of both competing master chefs.
    Here are a few main ingredient possibilities;
    1. Toothpaste
    2. Mouthwash
    3. Cough medicine
    4. Chapstick
    5. Chewing Tobacco
    6. Banana peels

    Think about a nice tuna steak in a toothpaste, cream, and shallot reduction or a fig and cough medicine puff pastry tartlet.

    If you are bored, think of some new almost-edible ingredients and/or dishes.


    Bon Appetit Fuckers
    -Chef Dick

    Sunday, July 03, 2005

    If You Are Planning On Cooking...

    So, here is a link to a bunch of weight watchers recipe cards from 1974. They are absolutely ridiculous in and of themselves, however the person that runs the site has taken the liberty of commenting on them. Just keep hitting the arrow keys, they keep getting funnier.
    (note* I tried linking to it directly but it kept giving me an error, so scroll down and click on the recipes)
  • Recipe Cards


  • also;
    Aaron Marx is in town. I hope I'll be ok enough to at least go get some dinner with him. If the pills have their way, I'll be just fine. Just fine! Just fine! Fine.


    Who loves ya?
    - I do!

    Saturday, July 02, 2005

    The Drugs Like Me!

    1 pill does nothing
    2 of them don't do shit either
    3 pills make me black the fuck out

    Blacking out on drugs is really odd. It reminds me of catching small parts of movies when you are flipping channels. One minute nothing but black, the next minute new plot; I'm on the phone talking to someone, then black again, then new plot; someone's at my door bringing me things, etc...

    "Take 1 pill 3 times a day." "Take 3 pills 1 time a day." "Take 3 pills 3 times a day."
    Did I already take 3 or was that 2? Oh well 4 is a nice number.

    The clock keeps jumping ahead hours at a time. I'm glad the computer has a clock that says AM and PM. Morning and early evening look so similar. My brain and body still hasn't adjusted from the 3 hour time difference of Toronto, which just adds to the confusion.

    "May cause drowsiness."
    No, I took 3 last night, and it's stopped being last night a while ago, I think. I'll take another one which will start the day's intake over again.

    Aside from the back pain, I'm kind of enjoying this feeling. It plays with my vision and makes everything in my peripheral look like its a pulsating pointillism kaleidoscope (relax there, hippy). When I move my eyes from left to right, it takes a second or 2 to bring what I am looking at into focus, like my brain needs to catch up with my eyes. On that fun note, I'm out.


    Never trust a junky ;-)
    R

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