Friday, February 17, 2006

Some Catch-up

Currently listening to: Shannon Wright - Maps Of Tacit
Sounds Like - Intense Indy Vagina Music

So busy lately, don't know where to begin.

Wed night I had the most amazing sneezing attack. I sneezed for like 4 hours. Sneezing is so violent. Some of the times I actually had to stand-up to sneeze so I wouldn't pull muscles in my back. I took a different allergy pill every 20 mins or so until they finally made me pass out. I was so freaked out that I almost considered checking myself into a hospital. I bet that I sneezed more times in 4 hours then I've sneezed in my whole life. Fucking weird!

Last weekend we shot our 3rd girl/girl production. Bitch at the Grrrl for not taking any behind the scenes pics. Here are some thoughts/highlights about the shoot:
Girl 1 actually came to the set with a huge coldsore on her lip. We had to send her home and find a replacement.
The girls used 14 different toys on eachother, which I picked out! I am now a sextoy lexicon.
It is very apparent to me that sextoys are created by men.
A pornstar in a chicken costume with a strap-on dildo = funny!
Someone has to wash the sextoys before and after use.
A sink that is overflowing with a pile rubber dicks = funny
Unfortunately, not every shoot can have midgets

That's all for now,
Take care all

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Poo In My Hand

I take Crispin out 3 times a day.
Before work and after work is when he makes the poo (late night he only makes the pee)
I have small, pink, flower-scented bags that were designed specifically to pick up the poos.
The 2 poo walks go for about half a mile a piece
Crispin poos in about the same place half-way into the walk.
I usually throw out the poobag in the dumpster by my Apartment.

So that means:
In the year and 1/2 that I've been living here in LA, I've walked about 275.5 miles with poo in my hand.


Monday, February 13, 2006


Get off your ditchweed-smoking, cock-pulling, tandori panda-making ass and buy this movie!
I say buy it rather then rent it because the 2nd DVD with the bonus material will be mandatory after you watch the movie.

Dig is a documentary that juxtaposes 7 years in the lives and careers of 2 bands. The 2 bands are The Dandy Warhols and The Brian Jonestown Massacre. The funny thing is that I really don't like the music that either of the bands make, but the musicians and characters in both bands are astoundingly riveting.

The Dandys are a tight 4 piece power pop-ish/rock band that all seem like they are in love with each other. They are portrayed as great friends that don't really seem to have any problems. Their drug and alcohol use is recreational, their money problems are non-existent, and their management is right on track.

The Brian Jonestown Massacre is comprised of a revolving door of trianwreck addict musicians that quit or get booted out of the band after every show. The homeless singer/songwriter/multi-instrumentalist/smack addict/violent alcoholic/schizophrenic/self-proclaimed God; Anton Newcombe is the only mainstay in the band. Anton assaults bandmembers when they fuck up, assaults the crowd when they make him break his concentration, and constantly proclaims himself a visionary and God. He is described by many as being as brilliant and important as velvet-era Lou Reed.

What makes the documentary really cool is that both bands are really big fans and good friends of one-another and start off touring together and trying to make it. Anton constantly sabotages any and all opportunities to progress as a signed musician, all the while recording 5 albums a year in his home studio. The Dandys become record industry sweethearts which, of course alienates them from BJM.

Lots of drama, lots of on-stage meltdowns, lots of drunken violence and stupidity. My description doesn't even come close to how chaotic the story is.

Go buy this movie now! Even if u hate both bands you will still really like the movie.


Monday, February 06, 2006

I Am Your Father

This someone looks like someone else that we know, but that someone wouldn't cooperate as well as the someone in the pic.

darth pug

Friday, February 03, 2006

Another Day In Hollywood

Blayne (our multicolor dreadlocked video editor) and I were standing in front of our office on Sunset Blvd when we were approached by a guy. The guy looked like a stereotypical 35 year old football fan from the Midwest (he wasn't, but that's what he looked like). He introduces himself as "Chuck" and asks if he can talk to us for a second. Chuck proceeds to tell us the following story:

"I had my regular 7 beer breakfast and I was on my way home. I live in the neighborhood. And I was talking to someone about this horrible tragedy that I saw on the news. This 7 year old girl was sitting in front of a convenience store and a car pulled up, a guy got out, grabbed the necklace from around her neck, and drove off. Cameras in front of the store caught the whole thing. A different guy walking behind us must have overheard our conversation about girl and the necklace thief and said, "Hahaha I know that guy." So I followed him."

Chuck then pointed across the street to a guy in a red shirt and said that's him. Then Chuck continued:

"I followed him because I am gunna beat his ass. You don't joke about that shit! Then I saw you guys and realized that I needed to talk to someone before I jumped him."

Blayne and I commended him on his choice to talk to us rather then get violent. We talked to Chuck about bad choices and their repercussions. We talked to him like a 13 year old for about 10 minutes. He thanked us and left.

Dude in the red shirt has no idea how close he came to getting the fuck beat outta him.
Small deposit into the Karma Bank.


Internet History part Deux

At the dawn of time a bunch of people seeking easily conciliable twink bukkake porn invented the internet. 7 minutes later the electronic chain letter was distributed. 9 1/2 minutes later some little chubby kid made and released a video of himslf doing an elaborate impression of Darth Maul's lightsaber dance. Then in 2005 someone made a clever Chuck Norris fact sheet that annoyingly effected every type of media until the words, "Chuck Norris" made u wanna kick someone in the ballsack. The world laughed, yawned, then got violent. Then, for several months, nothing even remotely interesting happened. Until...

I found this Jack Bauer list. This list trend is getting old, but the show 24 is so cool I thought I'd post the funny parts of it anyway.

10 Random Facts About Jack Baur:

1. When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
2. Jack Bauer's calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.
3. Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
4. When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.
5. Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed.
6. Jack Bauer once double teamed a girl... by himself.
7. If you spell Jack Bauer in a Scrabble game, you win. Forever.
8. ...

Ya know, these really arn't that funny so I'm gunna stop. The fact that I am not going to delete this post will show my lazyness and lack of originality. Suck it.


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