Saturday, April 29, 2006


So far here's the breakdown:

Fri night
1. Met an Iron Chef winner and ate at his restaurant.
2. Went to a really swanky VIP strip club with pornstar Brittany Starr.
3. Hung out with wonderful childhood friend John O'connor.
4. Drank five-bazillion beers.
5. Saw Pantera/Damageplan drummer Vinny Paul and gave him a "cheers"

1. Slept off a horrendous hangover until like 3 pm.
2. Watched a Simple Life marathon, the guiltiest of pleasures.
3. D picked up his amazing new Caddillac XLR.
4. Drove to downtown Vegas and realized that there is a whole state surrounding the main hotel strip.
5. Locked myself out of my room and got lost trying to find the front desk.

So we'll prolly get a late dinner tonight and try not to get too fucked up so we will be able to leave tomorrow. We'll see how that works out.


Friday, April 28, 2006

The Devil's Underware Drawer

D, Mendi, and I are going to Vegas for the weekend. This is the 1st time in 12 years that I'm going to Vegas for something other then work (ie. the anual porn convention). It will be weird to not have any obligations. No parties, no Players Ball, no webmasters, no porn stars. WTF do people do in Vegas? I don't really like to gamble, I'm not into hookers, and I don't do hard drugs. I suppose we'll go to a strip club, maybe catch a show, and drink like assholes. Lately, everything I do just seems like killing time. Don't get me wrong, I feel extremely fortunate that I have the opportunities to experience all of my unique adventures, but I'd easily trade it all to wake up next to The Grrl.

Have a liver-destroying weekend, I know I will


Saturday, April 22, 2006

I Want To Fucking Tear You Apart

Can't stop listening to the song "Tear You Apart" by She Wants Revenge. They take all of the good flava from seminal 80's bands Joy Division and Bauhaus but add an intensity and production value that make the aforementioned bands palatable in only small doses (with all due respects implied). The really cool and creepy video really won me over. Here's some links to watch the video on PC and here it is for MAC. LMK what you think.

Saw V For Vendetta last night. I loved it. Being unfamiliar with the story, I though it would be just an overwhelming, effect-driven, Hollywood interpretation of a beloved comic. It was a bit of that, but it was really cool story with a great script, crazy alliteration-filled dialog (I forgot how many words start with "V"), and amazing cinematography courtesy of Matrix's Wachowski brothers. Natalie Portman continues to impress me and is IMO becoming the coolest actress in Hollywood. However, John Hurt made the movie by being one of the best movie villains I've seen in a really long time. Dig it!

BTW, My neighbor is listening to the St. Elmo's Fire soundtrack. For once the Grrl is probably extremely greatful that she is many many miles away in Toronto, not listening to John Parr's "Man In Motion". Time to blast some Black Dahlia Murder. My music can beat up my neighbor's music!

Happy Earth Day and Ohio Gay Pride, bitches

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Know Your Aenima

Greetings from the BIG state. The meat state. The lone star.

The part of Dallas that we are staying in, as it turns out, is Oakville, Ontario, Schaumburg, IL, and everywhere else that you have been that's flat. Guess a great deal of North America is pretty nondescript and interchangeable. Yeah so, this mini trip has been quite relaxing. Spent time with D's family (which was oddly comforting and quite enjoyable), rode go-karts, went to a strip club, saw J. Ginch-rock in all his splendor, Drank lots of Fat Tire beer, participated in a Passover Seder, and saw the Johnny Knoxville movie where he pretends to be a person with disabilities (which was actually pretty decent and surprisingly respectful to Special Olympians and individuals with challenges).

All in all the trip was pretty uneventful, so I'll talk about Tool.

Paul D'amour's new band Feersum Ennjin.
New Tool song
Pre-Tool Maynard
Weird Maynard stage incident
Maynard and Rage Know Your Enemy
And finally, Maynard and Tori

Fuck around on that Youtube site for a while and search for bands, you'll be surprised at what kinds of gems that you'll find.

-Texas Dick

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Hardcore Motherfucker!

It turns out that our new punk rock video editor is a huge 16 Horsepower/Woven Hand fan. He said that he flew to Dallas a few months ago just to see a Woven Hand show. He befriended a photographer that was also at the show and got some pics. He hooked me up, and now I'm hooking you up.

If any of you are not familiar with 16 Horsepower or Woven Hand, they are what a Nick Cave and Maynard milkshake would sound like. Or like, if Tool did cowboy music (not cuntry music). This dude is one hardcore motherfucker!

here's some pics:




I'm off to Texas for the weekend. Talk to you fuckers when I get back.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Pimpin Ain't Easy

Pimpin ain't easy!
At least that's what I hear, but you can judge for yourselves.

Speaking of pimps, I spoke to J. Ginchy Cockrock. Not only is he coming to visit LA soon, he's also going to be in Dallas when I am (this weekend). So we're gunna fuck some shit up cowboy-style. Believe that!

Yeah so any thrill of my temporary bachelorhood has more then worn off. I'm bored of playing video games until 2 am. I'm bored of television. Bored of going out alone. Bored of coming home to an empty apartment. Bored of talking to the cat. Bored of watching movies by myself. Almost bored of masturbation marathons. If wishes and buts were clusters of nuts, we'd all have a bowel of granola, or something.

Bye bye

Friday, April 07, 2006


In the 7 years of being a pornographer I have found only 2 fetishes that I don't understand. That is not to say that I am "into" all of them, I just understand why people obsess about taboos. Yeah, being bad can feel really fucking good.

Anyway, the 1st fetish that I never understood is the foot fetish. You can see bare feet everywhere, for free. Where is the thrill? It's like having an elbow fetish. Who the fuck cares about elbows (and feet for that matter)? Toe sucking, that's a different story. Footjobs, fine. Even some aggressive sub/dom foot play, I understand. But I just don't understand people that get sexually excited by seeing feet.

Here is the 2nd fetish that I don't understand. It's pretty clear that the girls who are performing in it, are not having a great time, which is always lame. It is also pretty fucking degrading (only, IMO, because they are not enjoying themselves). As always, don't look at any link on my blog when you are at work (unless you work for a porn company ;-).

New topic: New Music

New Flaming Lips. See song #1 "Yeah Yeah Yeah Song"
New Pretty Girls Make Graves. See song #2 "Pyrite Pedestal"
New Rainer Maria. Great album as a whole, but the song "Life Of Leisure" is my favorite.

Have a dicktacular weekend!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Our Old Buddy Goatse

Ahhh Goatse...

If I didn't know better, I'd think that the internet was invented for the specific purpose of emailing Goatse pics to unsuspecting friends.
For those of you that choose to swim on the non-porn side of the internet pool (as if that side exists) may not know Goatse. Here is a Wikipedia Goatse Tutorial.

Now that everyone is on the same Goatse page, I can move on.

So today, when I was scouring the interweb to find a hideously disgusting photo to attach to the love letter that I wrote to the Grrl, I learned some important internet history. I found a fascinating and informative interview with the infamous Goatse. Now I warn you that there are pics of him on the link that I am about to post. There are pics of him gaping, pics of double cucumber insertions, and pics of him that look like he is going to prolapse. I ask you to look beyond all that and get to know the man on the other side of the massive rectum. Check it out; DON'T LOOK AT THIS IF YOU ARE AT WORK!

Now don't u feel like a much more informed internet user? I know I do.

Fist ya later,

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