Saturday, May 27, 2006

10 Foot Squirting Female Orgasms

I took a week long blog vacation. I used all of my free time to leisurely obsess about work and our 5th porn shoot which took place yesterday (fri). It was an interactive solo girl shoot that got extremely complicated due to lighting complications, continuity issues, and a script that required some actual acting. I think that sometimes I make our shoots way too complicated. I mean, porn really sells itself, in spite of script, acting, lighting, budget, set design, and even attractive performers. Mainstream movies have many different styles and trends, but porn movies have 1 style, 1 script, and all the other details just adhere to budget constraints and a lack of creativity. That sucks and I hate it! Luckily I'm in a position to change it, which I'm trying to do, 1 stressful shoot at a time. The star of our production was a well known porn star named "Cytherea." She is notorious for her massive squirting orgasms, that can soak anything within a 10 foot radius.

Now I'll let you in on an industry secret: most female pornstars fake thier orgasms on film.
No really they do. I know u r saying to yourself, "but Rick, it looks so real when a vacant silicone-filled human blow-up doll yells and screams that she is cumming." Sorry to burst your fuck-bubble. It's usually fake. Some guys don't care. I do.

Anyway, the extremely cool thing about working with a girl that ejaculates, is that it's authentic. Cytherea has the ability to completely trance-out and have multiple squirting orgasms, not just for a paycheck, not for psudo-fame, but because she really likes sex. In my opinion that realism is much better to watch then a girl whose sexual personality is dictated by a camera being turned on and off.

The shoot went great. She squirted a whole bunch of times and soaked our set. She was so into it that she even continued to masturbate when we wern't filming (so we made sure to keep the cameras running so we wouldn't miss anything). She broke 2 vibrators and even came close to shorting out our extremely expensive lights with her flying vaginal liquids (which she is known to do). I took a bunch of behind the scenes pix, which I'll post sometime soon.

Just another day at the office.


Friday, May 19, 2006

Happy Birthday

Today my blog turned 1 year old!!!

Here is a recap of my year in posting:
blah blah buncha bands
blah blah porn blah fisting blah
uhhhh... watch this movie, rent this DVD, check out this TV show
song lyric blog titles that have the word "fudge" substituted for some other word that isn't "fudge"
lots of sentences that start with the word - "so".
stuff that only matt or anna would find interesting
stuff that only I find interesting
1 tranny
1 Ron Jeremy interaction
1 large pancake
3 flea infestations
1 tiny watermellon
and a few sentences about facial hair

It's been a deep, thoughtful, insightful, poignant, and important year in blogging. Glad u could share it with me.

Much love,

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

See You In Toronto (C U in T)


I leave for Toronto tomorrow morning @ 9 am. I have to leave my house at 7. I have to get up at 6. I will be eating xanax fried rice for dinner so I am able to get to sleep before 3:00 am. I am extremely excited to see the Grrrl! 2 months is way too long! There is also a small porn convention going on, and we are hosting a party on Fri at a club (think it is called Mood). Fun fun fun!

check this shit out:
Best Website Ever (today)
Best Drunk Chick Ever (today)

I am out

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Naked Eye


Jay's show went really well. Lots of people showed up and Crush was definitely an appropriate venue (they sell high-end glass dildos, glass sculptures, and super-high-end glass bongs. I swear that there is a $10,000 bong there). I met all sorts of interesting folks. Met one of the Seinfeld/Curb Your Enthusiasm writers, met a guy that is about to launch a line of beverages that all have racially tongue-in-cheek names (like "Black Power" grape sports drink, and "Silly White Girl" apple martini mix), met a woman that runs a music publishing house, and met a few of porn stars (one that we actually might shoot). I, however, was pretty much braindead throughout the whole evening and couldn't hold up my end of any conversation. I was so out of it that I forgot to bring a fucking camera, so no pix. Here is his website, so u can see a few of the prints that were featured. If any of u fuckers are in LA, stop over at Crush and check out Jay's pics.


Saturday, May 06, 2006

Porn Filled Weekend

Fri night:
The wonderful Charmaine Star had a birthday potty. We all met at Katana for a birthday dinner. It was a interesting group consisting of porn stars, actors, actor wanna bees, a spray-on tan mogul, and D, Jay, and I. I was seated across from an obnoxious former pro football player, who, when asked, "what do u do for fun?" He replied, "I mostly hang out with the "BIG money people," so we just kinda hang out at their mansions." So yeah, that gets the award for the most LA conversation EVER. Charmaine is always a genuinely sweet, happy, down to earth person. She definitely breaks the stereotype of what most porn girls seem to get grouped in. After dinner we went to a club called "Privilege." It was like every other LA club. I lasted for about an hour until I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed Jay and his girlfriend and we went to a bondage/burlesque/tranny bar called The Dragonfly, which was way more my speed. It reminded me a bit of The Bovine Sex Club, with more skin and more goth kids. We spent most of the time talking to this androgynous London boy who was complaining about how American girls don't wanna fuck him because they first think he is a girl, then they think he is gay.

Tonight Jay is having his Fine Art nudes show at Crush on Melrose. I'm gunna take lots of pictures which I'll post tomorrow. Go Jay!


Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Cotton Candy Clown Turd

Here's a few pix of the cotton candy extravaganza

poor table manners
clown turd

even poorer table manners

The handsome cotton candy Burt Reynolds moustache

Monday, May 01, 2006

Vague Ass Part 2

Saturday night's itinerary was somewhat reminiscent of friday's. We ate at the same Iron Chef restaurant, but get this; we get the desert menu and see that they have cotton candy. We order it, and what comes is the hugest, most ridiculous mound of pink insanity. It looked like the largest pinkest afro wig in ebony-clown history. It was spectacular! Afterward, we went to the same strip club as last nite, then we hung out at the Hard Rock circle bar again, and I even saw Vinny Paul again (he had a full beard with lines shaved down both sides, making it look like stripes).

We left for LA on Sunday but after an hour and 1/2 of stop and go traffic, we found out that the highway was a parking lot all the way to Cali (that's like 200 miles of bumper-to-bumper bullshit). We decided to turn around and stay an extra night in Vegas. Yeah there are worse places to be stranded. So, Depeche Mode played a show in the parking lot of the Hard Rock Casino. We hooked up with our pornstar friend and her husband who had a room at the Hard Rock on the 16th floor, facing the stage. We watched the whole show from their room. It was like a VIP box seat in an arena, but we had our own bathroom. Pretty fucking cool!

Tomorrow we will definitely depart from the Devil's degenerate domain.


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